You're a real lover. A true lover ... &I'd really like to keep you forever.

Look at yourself and scrutinize carefully. See anything you want to alter? See anything you wish to change? I know you have your own qualms about yourself. The discomfort of seeing yourself as this and not that. The pain you're undergoing secretly or knowingly by others. It might be a huge insecurity to you to not have your legs, arms, face, hair or which ever part of you to not be honed to the standards you wish were up there.  Your looks may sometimes cause you dismal but have you ever thought of the fact that if you changed yourself and the people who couldn't love you for you before, start showing "affection" and "attention" you may have always wanted, be a statement of  superficiality? The sincerity is absent because it doesn't matter if you're kind hearted or not, as long as you look good, you're suddenly in the social circles of various Barbies and Kens. In short, everything is plastic.  And people of that ilk know nothing but airheaded fun. It might be an awesome feelings to be accepted but would that feeling top the feeling of being loved for who you are?

There's a reason why I don't moderate my comments. Its because the opinion of others who I don't personally know or people who hide behind anon identities, they don't hurt me. What goes around comes around. &So what made my self esteem go lower than usual? My mom's constant insults. I tried tolerating it for years. But this year, 2009, it finally took a toll on me because after 18 years, I am still not beautiful in her eyes. It hurts and obviously, that's what affects me.

So take it from me guys, if you think you're not beautiful in your own ways then you don't love yourself. Because loving yourself means accepting every flaw that makes you, you. You would feel a lot better about yourself. Don't try and change your looks for others because if you've got people who love you for the way you are then there's no reason to want more. The more you change yourself, the more you lose what's made you, you. You can always better you looks, sure, but one day, looks won't matter anymore. In that moment that happens, I hope your time taken to change yourself constantly wouldn't be a moment wasted to live life, loving life and enjoying every moment of it with beloved ones.

You ought to fill your heart with things that make YOU happy, not THEM. Don't lose yourself to the 'them' that can't accept you or thnk they're better than you cuz everyone has their insecurities but at the end of the day, life still goes on. Better to live it happily and to the fullest yes? Life's short, think about it.

I wish i wish i wish...

That we wouldn't have it this hard, this complex or this distant.