ScriptedSecrets ; the beautiful in the ugly

Tea Moe Bert Dai!

2009-11-11T15:15:46Z

Hope you liked our small surprise leetle brother! You've been a pleasure to have as a brother my leetle beetle. Let's continue to laugh at dumb jokes and mock the toe sucker together and coincidentally always wear the same colors! Heh yay :)

Heeeee cutting my hair again tomorrow can't wait!

Your bruises only make me stronger,

2009-11-07T14:58:11Z

Fighting to keep strong, even if it hurts me deeply.

SELLING! 4 a friend! @.@

2009-11-02T14:34:31Z

Selling Red Nokia E - 63!
Sealed, brand new in box, warranty included!
(was a gift)

$350(Slightly negotiable)

P/S, its retailing at Nokia shops at $0, however you are required to sign a 2 years plan and pay a fee monthly and in turn, you'd be paying more than the maket price.

scriptedsecrets @ 2009-10-30T13:56:00

2009-10-30T06:01:32Z

I want so badly to have long hair again but my current hair is haywire and makes me look moronic... therefore I agreed to demo model for Toni&Guy again on 12 Nov. Not another hair show cuz I won't be doing hairshows for a long time. So let me surprise ya'll again with new hair which changes almost every 3 months! Heh, i hope i don't regret this choice cuz I can tie my hair in a pony tail now but its a mini ponytail! But nonetheless, it can be tied already AHHH CONTEMPLATIVE! Help :(

SIDENOTE; I REALLY MISS CLARA GOH, CHARLENE KEASBERRY AND AKIKO ONG :(

Water Girl!

2009-10-26T01:57:41Z

I've already drank 5 glasses of water and its only 10 am! School starts at 1215 but I decided to be there at 230 and when I get to school, I'd probably drink 4-5 bottles(600ml each). Once school ends and I'm back home, I'd drink 3-4 more glasses; 1 before dinner, 1 after dinner then 1 or 2 if i'm still thirsty afterwards. That's like 6000ml plus/minus of water a day... Gee :|

scriptedsecrets @ 2009-10-25T17:17:00

2009-10-25T09:20:51Z

I don't fucking know what's wrong with you but you know what? Maybe you're not who i thought you are anymore or the person I thought you could be. I can battle my problems alone. I did it before and I'll do it again. I hate myself for being this soft/weak/naive. I should've known better than to try and share my burdens/problems with someone else.

I need someone, just thought it could've been you.

scriptedsecrets @ 2009-10-24T15:35:00

2009-10-24T07:36:43Z

Got my results for the past exams I did recently!

AND.....

Straight As baby!:)

scriptedsecrets @ 2009-10-23T01:20:00

2009-10-22T17:22:02Z

You're a real lover. A true lover ... &I'd really like to keep you forever.

Hello beautifull,

2009-10-06T04:40:58Z

Look at yourself and scrutinize carefully. See anything you want to alter? See anything you wish to change? I know you have your own qualms about yourself. The discomfort of seeing yourself as this and not that. The pain you're undergoing secretly or knowingly by others. It might be a huge insecurity to you to not have your legs, arms, face, hair or which ever part of you to not be honed to the standards you wish were up there. Your looks may sometimes cause you dismal but have you ever thought of the fact that if you changed yourself and the people who couldn't love you for you before, start showing "affection" and "attention" you may have always wanted, be a statement of superficiality? The sincerity is absent because it doesn't matter if you're kind hearted or not, as long as you look good, you're suddenly in the social circles of various Barbies and Kens. In short, everything is plastic. And people of that ilk know nothing but airheaded fun. It might be an awesome feelings to be accepted but would that feeling top the feeling of being loved for who you are?

There's a reason why I don't moderate my comments. Its because the opinion of others who I don't personally know or people who hide behind anon identities, they don't hurt me. What goes around comes around. &So what made my self esteem go lower than usual? My mom's constant insults. I tried tolerating it for years. But this year, 2009, it finally took a toll on me because after 18 years, I am still not beautiful in her eyes. It hurts and obviously, that's what affects me.

So take it from me guys, if you think you're not beautiful in your own ways then you don't love yourself. Because loving yourself means accepting every flaw that makes you, you. You would feel a lot better about yourself. Don't try and change your looks for others because if you've got people who love you for the way you are then there's no reason to want more. The more you change yourself, the more you lose what's made you, you. You can always better you looks, sure, but one day, looks won't matter anymore. In that moment that happens, I hope your time taken to change yourself constantly wouldn't be a moment wasted to live life, loving life and enjoying every moment of it with beloved ones.

You ought to fill your heart with things that make YOU happy, not THEM. Don't lose yourself to the 'them' that can't accept you or thnk they're better than you cuz everyone has their insecurities but at the end of the day, life still goes on. Better to live it happily and to the fullest yes? Life's short, think about it.

I'm just really curious,

2009-10-03T06:49:21Z

What makes your self-esteem go ten times lower than usual and thus making you insecure of yourself? Cuz I've been having issues myself these days! Sigh :( Post anonymously if you must, it doesn't matter!

scriptedsecrets @ 2009-09-30T22:57:00

2009-09-30T15:12:18Z

I wish i wish i wish...

That we wouldn't have it this hard, this complex or this distant.

Just wanted you to know,

2009-09-29T03:57:26Z

That I'm the greatest fan of your life.

xo

Honestly,

2009-09-27T10:42:30Z

I am truly happy with my life and the love I've got. This is such an amazing feeling that I can't believe I've got running through my veins and all over my head.... brushing against my skin. The feeling is spread throughout, both inside and out. I am thankful and humbled by all the good things that are now in my possession. Things I never thought I'd achieve because they all seemed too good to be true and now finally i can say with confidence;

"Dare to dream big, dream far for dreaming don't cost you a penny, it'll only cost you, your faith."

Because nothing is impossilbe unless you want it to be.

You're my tree and i'm your Koala :)

2009-09-19T18:11:50Z

Stress Core stress core STRESS CORE. I am honing my knowledge to perfection for all my exams and so far so good. Except for the next one on tues, now that's an exception cuz I'm no where near close to ready for that. My only wish for now is to suddenly be endowed with a wider span of intelligence that enables me to answer questions flawlessly. Til then, i'll continue to feed off from hard work though I get derailed now and then but most of the time i've been a good girl, studying at maximum nerdcore. Hehe

Sorry for being away from this space, after the 25th, I'm going to be online active again! Awesome possum!

Keep safe now :)

scriptedsecrets @ 2009-09-05T00:17:00

2009-09-04T16:19:44Z

FWOAH FWOAH FWOAH U HAVE GOT TO CHECK OUT http://yebalela.livejournal.com/

Or you WILLregret!

I cried the moment I heard your voice..

2009-08-29T13:21:06Z

It's a great feeling when that person has every effort to let you feel what he feels for you. Because of the distractions, you may not hear him shout it to the world, but as long as you feel it, his efforts has paid off, big time. And when you feel the same way too... He'd feel as if he's the luckiest person alive.

... when in fact, you're more blessed to have him.

scriptedsecrets @ 2009-08-26T02:00:00

2009-08-25T18:10:05Z

Playing "rock, paper. scissors" on msn with Timo Tiger right now. Formally we were playing some match the flowers game online and he was winning but now look who's on the roll with rock paper scissors ^^ So.. Anways, its going to be town later in the day today for me since there's no school. That'll be with Timo, Daryl & Mike (hopefully) and I've a strong craving for wan ton and yoguru mmm Good food! Need to satisfy myself later. But for the time being, gonna play another round of me winning rock paper scissors whoop whoop!
:D

At one,

2009-08-24T14:22:04Z

From day to day we live from our heads, our thoughts… and this causes all our problems, all our misery. We're going against our deepest instincts! It is said that while in the womb (and also as very young children) we are in a natural state of one-ness, love, union, innocence…bliss. Then after a while, gradually as we grow up in the world, we begin to realise that "I am this and you are that", "I am here and you are there", "I am me and you are…you". We start to feel separate, we become 'self-conscious', we become afraid.

Yours Lovingly,

2009-08-23T15:07:25Z

Even though you've got a forest up in your nose, you're still the cutest person to me who makes me extraordinarily happy like no one else can. Even though we play weird games like rocket ship, comparing which orange is bigger, gun&bullets, I feel that I am at my happiest. Even though we only have either 1 or 2 days per week, it will always be better than a zero. Even though I won't get to talk to you for 6 whole says nor will I get to see you cuz of your dumb out field, we'll still have a week together in Sept! Even though its going to take 5 years for us til we can finally settle down together, at least forever will be ours then.

Because you hold the biggest place in my heart even though you've got small tiny eyes hehe ^^

Angles

2009-08-21T18:14:38Z

10 minutes pass 2am and here I am still up and about, waiting.. counting down to the moment til I'd finally get to see your smile again. Your smile that has the capabilty to make my insides warm up, what ever the weather. I hope you're sleeping well right about now because when you wake up babe, its going to be me and you time in a while more. We've been waiting for this. I even set a countdown... always have actually :)

Because that's all I really ever look forward to.. when the world doesn't matter except us.

Sticky

2009-08-19T17:41:27Z

I can never find a sufficient collections of words to string together to form a sentence to express my heart's content for you. But whatever it is babe, one day, I'll eradicate once and for all, all things that hurt you. That hurt us. NS being my numero uno target. I will fight for you because fighting for you is equivalent to fighting for us. Mark my words when I say I will do anything to grow old with you:)
Anything and everything because I love you.

scriptedsecrets @ 2009-08-18T23:39:00

2009-08-18T15:50:05Z

Shh quiet now, let the hearts do the talking this time. They speak better than the words we utter more than often. Pure silence is all we need to listen. See the actions? See them happen. See them change. As these actions evoke, open your ears and check if the actions match the words whom one speaks. Don't be fooled, it'll only sting you. But babe I am here to protect you, as you're away, my heart finds yours & they speak words we cannot hear. As you're on the line, I listen. I would also listen and see to check that your actions match your words sometimes. And of all the times I do, you would always be a grade A. So don't change the way you are, just keep still. I'm always here, &I'm not going anywhere else no matter how far or long you're away.

Love, loving, you, just you.

In 3 more hours

2009-08-17T13:09:07Z

I finally become legal :) Happy me, happy birthday me! Thank all the 60 ++ people who came for the party :) I love you all and your awesome presents and how you people sang me the happy birthday song in 5 different languages! And Mr Koh, you made this my most memorable birthday yet :)

Im lost for words, I just can't help but smile

Is it beating?

2009-08-14T15:16:11Z

Pitter patter pitter patter. What's this I hear? No not the rain but the heavy downpour of my tears. There's a thunder in my heart, its painful as it strikes but you hear no sound cause its no beating anymore. Well not as strong as it used to anyway. Its a quiet heavy rain but it can flood you all the same. Flood you with all things that hurt you, that prick you but you can't bleed anymore because inside you're already dead. Your soul gave up on you and just ran away to be in a better place.

Tick tock tick tock. Look at the time its 40 mins to midnight. Party time? But what's there to celebrate? Your success in becoming a failure? Or how I'm still standing though I ought to be fallen hard to the ground. But i'm on the ground already you see, I'm just standing cause i thought along the way, i'd get someone's support. Like a crutch or better still, an electric wheelchair. Maybe I overused it when I got it. Or maybe just like my soul, it ran away too.

As i type, there's this blistering pain in my heart, a weakness in my body. My mind is telling me to give up this rat race for I will not make it far anyway. I will never reach the place where I want to be.

It hurts. So much. Everything.

I can't even type to continue this anymore, I'm sorry.

Goodnight.

It doesn't matter babe :)

2009-08-12T02:26:34Z

I don't care if NS is going to make you skip my party, at least you get to help me with the preparations :) I don't care if I won't get to spend the whole day with you that day cuz you gotta book in at 6pm cuz at least I'll have other days to make up for that. Don't really care if you won't get to see me blow my candles, don my 2nd dress, sing the songs I dedicate to you and what ever else, cuz in Sept we'll have another party, your surprise party for me &that one would be much better anyway! Whatever it is babe, NS can't ruin it for us, we're way stronger than that. You & I can make it past this. Just keep breathing......

&Know that even the worst things can't break this.
<3